Long time no post... well, I am afraid, this one is going to a be a bit bittersweet. It will likely be my last dancing post. Upon so much thought and intense consideration and a never-ending road to self discovery, I have made the decision not to pursue dance as a career.
I figure I owe you guys an explanation. It was a lot of things. Part of it was school, academics always come first for me, and at a certain point it got to be an overbearing load. And part of it was reality. It simply settled in, I guess. I started at 12, on the brink of 13, and made mountains of progress for the amount of time I'd been doing it. I was already better than a lot of girls in my class. But, see, that's just it. Here, the phrase, "for the amount of time I've been doing it" simply ruins the point of the statement. Because, when a director or judge at a company audition is looking at you, he is not going to say, "Well, cut 'em some slack, they've had 7 years less time than these girls". No, they are going to scrutinize you just the same way, and they should, because that is just the name of the game.
I know I sound quite pessimistic, but believe me, I DO believe that if one is truly dedicated and LOVES and ENJOYS every moment of it in the purest way possible, one should stick to it no matter what. I quit because it wasn't quite right for ME, because I got to a point where lugging my stuff to the studio was no longer something I looked forward to, where I felt that the pure joy of dance was enough to sustain me, I just didn't need all this pressure. I also had so many other things in my life that I wanted to explore and pursue, that I would have missed out greatly on.
So, I just wanted to tell you guys. And I'm so sorry! I actually quit in February, but I couldn't bring myself to post this until now, it just made me too sad. What finally brought me to the keyboard, you ask?
Well, today, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, since I'd recently gotten a new phone. I answered anyone. And on the phone were a bunch of girls from my old dance studio, asking where I'd been and telling me how much they missed me! This was kind of a shock for me, because I went to an extremely competitive place where no one even put much interest in anyone else, I'd had no idea any of them even cared enough to call. But, it turns out, they did, and that really touched me in a profound way. I'd never explained why I left, never looked back, just was *poof--gone*. So, I guess I just felt it was time I gave you guys an explanation, and said, Fairwell!
(P.S. I know this was cheesy and it may have been due to the fact that while writing this I was listening to Erin McCarley's Pitterpat, which tends to make me emotional, but I just wanted to say sorry and goodbye!)
