Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The End of an Era

Long time no post... well, I am afraid, this one is going to a be a bit bittersweet. It will likely be my last dancing post. Upon so much thought and intense consideration and a never-ending road to self discovery, I have made the decision not to pursue dance as a career.

I figure I owe you guys an explanation. It was a lot of things. Part of it was school, academics always come first for me, and at a certain point it got to be an overbearing load. And part of it was reality. It simply settled in, I guess. I started at 12, on the brink of 13, and made mountains of progress for the amount of time I'd been doing it. I was already better than a lot of girls in my class. But, see, that's just it. Here, the phrase, "for the amount of time I've been doing it" simply ruins the point of the statement. Because, when a director or judge at a company audition is looking at you, he is not going to say, "Well, cut 'em some slack, they've had 7 years less time than these girls". No, they are going to scrutinize you just the same way, and they should, because that is just the name of the game.

I know I sound quite pessimistic, but believe me, I DO believe that if one is truly dedicated and LOVES and ENJOYS every moment of it in the purest way possible, one should stick to it no matter what. I quit because it wasn't quite right for ME, because I got to a point where lugging my stuff to the studio was no longer something I looked forward to, where I felt that the pure joy of dance was enough to sustain me, I just didn't need all this pressure. I also had so many other things in my life that I wanted to explore and pursue, that I would have missed out greatly on.

So, I just wanted to tell you guys. And I'm so sorry! I actually quit in February, but I couldn't bring myself to post this until now, it just made me too sad. What finally brought me to the keyboard, you ask?
Well, today, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, since I'd recently gotten a new phone. I answered anyone. And on the phone were a bunch of girls from my old dance studio, asking where I'd been and telling me how much they missed me! This was kind of a shock for me, because I went to an extremely competitive place where no one even put much interest in anyone else, I'd had no idea any of them even cared enough to call. But, it turns out, they did, and that really touched me in a profound way. I'd never explained why I left, never looked back, just was *poof--gone*. So, I guess I just felt it was time I gave you guys an explanation, and said, Fairwell!

(P.S. I know this was cheesy and it may have been due to the fact that while writing this I was listening to Erin McCarley's Pitterpat, which tends to make me emotional, but I just wanted to say sorry and goodbye!)

7 comments:

  1. Wishing you all the best in whatever you decide to do!

    (((hugs)))

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  2. Dear Cha Cha,

    Wow, big news hey. I totally understand how you felt about not writing on your blog about that for a few months, because you got all emotional and all that. I understand.

    Will you still write about day to day life, though. I mean, there are millions of blogs out there about ballet, but how many are out there about 'what happens after you've quitted ballet and your new career?'

    Anyway, good luck in whatever you do next, I will be thinking of you. U R an awesome blogger friend, and I adored the last post you left!

    Izi : )

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  3. Awww, thanks guys!! Your comments and good wishes meant a lot to me :) Its nice to know that my writing was appreciated and that you guys understand!! Hopefully, I will still post an update from time to time, just to keep things rolling. Again, thanks so much!!

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  4. Wow, I send my heart out to you. I know that must have been a hard decision to make. I just wish the best for you, and hope you can find new things to be passionate about.

    xx

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  5. Aw, so sad! I don't think you should give up entirely on it though. Maybe you can still do a recreational class once a week!

    Wish you all the best

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  6. Again guys, your comments mean so much to me! I do occasionally do recreational classes to stay healthy and flexible, but sometimes they also make me a little sad :/ since I miss it so much. Thanks SO MUCH for the support!!

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  7. Cha Cha .....

    Yeah, I can understand about how the recreational classes would make you feel sad. They would make you remember all the times when you WERE really passionate about dance.

    But hey, if you're not loving it anymore, don't do it. Find something else. I absuloulty love ballet, but I also love something else, and that's music.

    I don't want to put any pressure on your or anything, and this probably sounds really dumb coming from me, but why don't you try playing a musical instrument for a while.

    Being an ex-dancer, you obviously were enthusiastic about music. If you don't want to dance to it anymore, why don't you play it?

    Just a suggestion .....

    Izi :)

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